Conversation in all social interaction is essential to communicating effectively. This is especially true when you find yourself on a date. You want to appear interesting yet mysterious, fun yet serious. The art of small talk and general conversation may allude you when you’re in the face of someone you hope to share a life–or simply a bed–with later. You might even get flustered and say things that fall into that too-much-information category. To avoid being the butt of someone’s dating woes jokes, check out a few definite Do-Not-Tell’s for dating.
- Criminal Record – As obvious as this may seem, some people still make this mistake in that first conversation. A criminal record should never be one of your selling points. My friends and I once met a guy while we were out having dinner. He was handsome, articulate, and seemingly intelligent. That was until he proceeded to tell us about the court case he had pending. It was already an awkward situation, with him being the only guy “pitching” himself to a table full of girls to see which one he would end up pursuing in the end. Needless to say, none of us took the bait he was fishing out – afraid we may be asked to be a character witness at his trial.
- Living Situation – Do you still live at home with your parents? Cool. Many of us have found ourselves in a position where it made more economic sense to live rent free for a month or twelve. It’s completely understandable. That being said, there’s really no need to elaborate on the circumstances that led you to this living situation. It’s the first date; your lay-off, bad investment or chronic unemployment isn’t something that will get you a second date. Worry about explaining where you live and why when your date will actually be coming home with you.
- Anatomical Make-up – Also a topic you’d think would be self-explanatory, but there are always those people who were never really taught the importance of discretion. Any reference to sexual encounters at all during your first date isn’t the best idea. It makes you seem desperate or one track minded. Chances are, if you lead with talk about how endowed or skillful you are behind closed doors, you won’t ever get to open them.
- Past Relationships – This is definitely a deal breaker. No one wants to hear about the craziness that led to the ending of your past relationship, or worse, all the great times you had with your ex. It shows that you’re clearly not over them. A friend of mine once went out to dinner with a guy who had the uncanny ability of steering everything she said or did back to his ex. She tried as hard as she could to ignore it but she finally had to come out and ask him why he was out with her when his mind was obviously with someone else. That led to him explaining all the details of their relationship woes. In the end, he got back with his ex and my friend got a free meal.
So the next time you’re out with someone new and wondering what topics you should broach, make sure you keep these Do-Not-Tells in the back of your mind, at least until the second or third date.
Photo Credit:
(via Elite DC Mag)
Adrian, The Writer 