So you’re “talking” to a man for a few months but nothing has been made official yet. Frustrating, right?
A friend of mine was in this same situation for months. She and this guy acted as if they were in a relationship whenever they were together, but that’s all it ever really amounted to: acting. Sure they talked everyday and spent some times together as a couple. But at the end of the night, she was still single and so was he. Try as she might, she couldn’t seem to get him to realize that she wanted more than a “situationship;” she wanted the real deal with him. She tried giving him attention, and then giving him his space, and even assured him that he was the only one she wanted. But it got to a point where the waiting game just got old.
Each time she’d ask me what she should do, I’d say to her, “Tell him how you feel”. My philosophy is that you can’t expect a man to read your mind and know what you want if you don’t actually tell him. Men are gifted with many things, but the ability to take a hint just isn’t one of them.
So she told him she wanted a relationship and we waited with bated breath for the text back that you seen in the movies where the guy responds with something like, “I’ve waited so long for you to say this. Of course I want you to be my woman until the end of time. Let’s have sex now”!
Needless to say, that’s definitely not how it all turned out.
The complexity of dating is real these days. You can “talk” to someone for months and seemingly be in a relationship with them but never hear the titles “boyfriend and girlfriend” describe your connection. If you’re not familiar with “talking”, it’s that gray area between a friendship and a relationship. You talk, but you haven’t actually committed yourself to that person formally. And for some couples, this works perfectly. They feel they don’t need to define what they have because they have an understanding. But nonverbal understandings and a lack of communication can be the downfall of any relationship, platonic or romantic.
True, we are all past that adolescent stage when we used to “go with” someone and send shy notes or texts asking, “Do you wanna be my girlfriend”? But if you feel that you’ve come to a point in your relationship where you want exclusivity on both ends, put a title on it. Because waiting around for someone to see what they have can prove to be draining and futile.
When you want something, you should go after it and claim it as your own. Just know if you wait too long, someone else will eventually come along and claim what you wanted for themselves.
Photo Credit: msdelaleu.com
(via Elite DC Mag)