When you’ve loved someone for a long time, it takes a while to get over them after a breakup. Unfortunately, feelings don’t have an off switch that you can conveniently flip when the relationship ends. No matter what the circumstances were that caused your split from each other, chances are, the love will still be there. As much as you may say you don’t love them or you don’t care for them anymore, true love just doesn’t work like that. But the upside to this is that it’s okay. It’s unrealistic to believe you won’t still love that person just because the relationship didn’t last. So with that realization, you have to do a few things to ensure that though you love them, you also know when to let it go.
- Stop Reminiscing. You know those photo booth pictures you have stored on your computer? Throw them in the trash. That necklace you got for Valentine’s Day? Put it in a box and push it under your bed. Those text messages that you took screenshots of and saved on your computer to reread over and over again? Yeah, you thought no one knew, huh? Throw those in the trash too. They may hold memories of a love that was once so strong between the two of you, but now they’re simply remnants of what once was. The more you relish in the memories of your past relationship, the more you will feed into the belief that there will be a second, third or tenth time around. Let them and your relationship go for good.
- Get to Know Yourself. Not to sound like a self-help book, but after a break up with a longtime love, the most important step to getting back to the you before your ex is to do some serious soul-searching. Re-teach yourself what you like to do now that you’re single and your free time is more open than before. Find a hobby, take up a sport, learn a new language. Anything but sitting around, thinking about your ex. Sure it’s okay to still love them, but you have to love yourself more. And that means moving on with your thoughts, your actions, and your life without them.
- Don’t Force Yourself into Dating. You know that saying, “The best way to get over someone is with someone else.” Yeah, that’s not always the best idea, especially when you’re still in love with your ex. You’ll end up comparing your new guy or girl with your ex; constantly anxious to feel the same feelings you once felt with them. You’ll want their hugs to give you tingles like your ex’s did, and their kisses make your heart skip a beat or two like before. But it will never be the same. Don’t push yourself into dating someone else just to make yourself stop loving your ex. Date them because you genuinely are interested in getting to know them better. Then maybe the love you once shared will become a distant memory replaced by a newer love, better than the one before.
It won’t be easy. You may spend a few nights listening to that breakup playlist for hours or watching Love Jones two or three times in a row. But, eventually, you’ll need to get up and move on with your life without them. It’s okay to still love them, but you also need to focus on how you’ll deal with your unrequited love. Just keep living because I promise, life will go on.
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(via Elite DC Mag)