Who used to watch the hit UPN-turned-CW show “Girlfriends” faithfully like I did? In season one, the “Burning Vagina Monologues” episode has Joan (Tracee Ellis Ross) worried that her man hasn’t said “I love you” yet, despite their having been together for about three months. Ultimately, Joan decided to take her friend William’s advice and try to say “I love you” first without it seeming intentional.
Although it didn’t actually work out as planned during that episode, it made me wonder, at what point in a relationship does an “I love you” become appropriate?
You can’t rush feelings like these, but if you sense that you are in love with your boyfriend or girlfriend, let them know. For women, this can be hard. Disney trained us to believe that our line is “I love you, too.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work this way. So, in an effort to help ladies save face (just in case the feelings aren’t exactly mutual yet), here are a few ways to let him know how you’re feeling without you actually having to say those dreaded three words.
An opportune time to tell him how you feel is while the two of you are cuddling. Try waiting until he’s drifting off to sleep and then whisper, “I love you,” in his ear. The trick to this is that you have to know when is the best time to do it. He can’t be asleep, snoring loudly into the pillow. Not only will his mind not register it, but also he probably won’t think to wake up and say it back. You also don’t want him to be wide-awake, thus defeating the whole purpose of your discretion in saying it. The ideal reaction would be for him to awaken slightly and tell you he loves you too, then fall right back asleep, leaving you to dream about your new love.
Another option would be to say it passively, as if you didn’t think up a plan to get your feelings across to him. Let him do something sweet for you, like bring you your favorite food or take your car to the auto shop for you. Then tell him nonchalantly, “Hey, that’s why I love you.” Or even better, you can do something sweet for him. Volunteer to do some menial task he never thinks to do himself. Then when he thanks you, you can just say “Oh, no problem. It’s because I love you.”
Maybe you don’t want to be that passive, but still would like to say tell him discreetly. Try giving it to him in addition to some unique trait of his. For instance, if your man has an obsession with cars, tell him, “I love you and your obsession with the Bentley Continental Supersports ISR convertible.” You get the picture.
If you’re really bold, do it over a romantic dinner or outing. Toast him and let him know how much you appreciate him. Men want to feel like they are wanted just as much as women. Tell him all of these things then cap it off with an “I love you.”
However you choose to let your man know that you love him, keep in mind one critical aspect. Sincerity. Because whether you tell him in a whisper or over a dinner table, what matters most is the feelings behind each of the three words.
Feature Image via corbisimages.com
(via Elite DC Mag)