So today I realized that I’m not what I thought I was supposed to be. That’s a very vague statement, so let me to explain. (more…)
Your opponent started yesterday. -Pastor S. Norful
When I was younger, I wanted to be so many different things. I told my parents I wanted to be an actress like Brandy on Moesha, so they put me in an acting class at the local community center. I can still remember twirling around in a white GoodWill dress, magic wand in hand, as I played the fairy godmother in an adaptation of Cinderella. After seeing the video my mother recorded of my performance, I took an exit from my acting career stage left. Then I told my parents I wanted to be a fashion designer. They got me a sheet of the ugliest purple cloth, a little sewing machine and an old mannequin from Walmart. I quit before I could even make a shirt comparable to Denise Huxtable’s Gordon Garbage blouse. I went from detective to massage therapist, and still kept going until I narrowed it down to being a writer. But it took a lot of trials, and even more errors.
It wasn’t until I really began to write that I realized something about myself that’s been the case all my life: I don’t finish things. I start things and as soon as it begins to get a little difficult, or requires more work than I expected, I move on to something else. Sometimes I lack focus and want to do things just because they are temporarily appealing, usually because someone else is having success doing it. The problem with this is that because I keep jumping from one thing to the next without actually mastering it, it never gets it finished. In the end, all I’m left with is a trail of too many “almost-done” projects. And I know I’m not the only one that does this.
Almost two weeks ago, I turned the big 2-0. Exciting right? Now to some, turning twenty is nothing more than a year closer to the ultimate age, 21. I mean, at 21 you’re officially recognized by all as a responsible adult. You can purchase a hotel room, rent a car, gamble your life savings, sign for a car or home without a co-signer, and most importantly… DRINK! What can you do at 20? I guess sit on your hands and patiently wait for 365 days.